Where It All Starts...In 2014.

Good morning, friends! I realize that most of the people reading this blog are probably either my friends or just avid blog readers so I will use the term friend to open for today.  

Welcome to 2014! It is the start to a new year.  This new year brings excitement, growth, struggle, happiness, sadness, and thrill.  Why is this year any different than the year prior? It is because the new year of 2014 is innocent in nature and nothing has tarnished the memories of the year yet.  We idolize that each new year is a fresh start just as we did when we graduated from high school, undergraduate, or even graduate school.  We see the new year as an opportunity to re-invent ourselves or create resolutions that seem timely but most fail in the long term.  

2014 means something different for me - it is an opportunity to shape who I am not redefine who I already am.  I see this year as an opportunity to listen less to those who poison my happiness and strive more to live a life focuses on seizing the day rather than waiting for someone to tell me to leap.  Although this does sound somewhat idealistic, I believe I need to step focused on my well being, happiness, and plans for the future.  Of course, I have my "council of mentors" who will be sounding boards for my plans to help me evaluate my life but more so to make sure I am not going "too far off the deep end." 

2014 begins new journeys for me in my professional career and navigating each experience with intentionality and purpose will be crucial.  Will I be perfect? Heck no but will I learn from the hurdles that present themselves to me - absolutely! My love and passion for student affairs makes me only more excited for the next steps I take throughout 2014.  

2014 encourages me to seek more time to be with Him.  Last night was a prime example.  I was the designated driver, by choice, for the New Year's Eve festivities. Chris Tomlin's Indescribable came on the radio (video provided below). 

During the last 10 minutes of my drive, I was like I know this song.  As the song began, I started singing and tears rolled down my face but I realized that God was talking to me.  The moment that the praise and worship because a true conversation with Him.  It made me think - what have I done to uphold His glory? Of course, I am aware that I will fall short but how am I working to follow His plan for my life.  In that moment, I am sitting at a red light praying that God will have His had in my life because I am nothing without Him.  Faith has always been a proponent of what my life should embody.  May God was trying to tell me something last night but all I can think is that I was present and learning to be.  I continue to seek more for and with Him. 

After reading this, many of you may say you have a hefty plan for 2014.  Actually, I think I have allowed this to be a framework for the year.  I had a supervisor once that told me that you have a tapestry to work but how you work with that canvas is a work of art.  I could not agree more.  Therefore, I strive to live more passionately focus on who I am; navigate my career with excitement and intentional conversations and direction; continue to shape who I am and not keep "reinventing the wheel;" and follow my heart through faith and prayer.  

2014 will be a great year - how will you be a part of my journey? Only time will tell. 

May your day be filled with peace, love, and joy. 

Love and Respect, 
Stephen 

Living in the Moment and Hopes for Tomorrow

When you think of genuine relationships, what comes to mind?

Think about it... Did you close your eyes and walk through memory lane?

Today, I saw a quote that brought me back to authentic relationships --

"Stop being afraid of what could go wrong and focus on what could go right." 

In relationships with individuals, how often do we focus on what could go wrong versus what is right in that present moment?

Prior to the start of 2014, I focused too much on making everything perfect from the places we would go, to the day or time we hung out, or focused on making sure that the conversations accomplished a goal. Yesterday, I began a conversation with a friend like any conversation - we started discussing life, work, and plans for the future.  In the middle of the conversation, I realized I wanted to know about the person, not the typical questions of what's your favorite color, drink, or show but what do you enjoy.  My friend spoke of his life in New York City and the excitement surrounding the New Year's Eve.  We began to explore what he loves about the city and what he enjoys in life.  In that moment, I realize that I need to re-evaluate my relationships and find the heart and soul of each of them.  No relationship is perfect, whether platonic or romantic. 

In relationships, some of them last days, weeks, or even years.  Some of them are brief for various reasons.  

Who do you classify as a best friend?  What do they do for you? What do you do for them?  Is it daily coffee conversations or simply a text saying have a great day.  

Regardless of the outcome, the relationship amongst two people should be founded on a form of common interest and mutual acceptance. But where does it go beyond the start.  Does it need to accomplish a goal? Or is it natural progression? 

Unfortunately, I realized that many of my relationships formed through my professional career or social outlets only connected to a social scene.  Today, I look to change that.  I want to find people that find beauty in life, even in the hard times.  I want to find people who accept and challenge me in life, whether my career or otherwise. If it lasts for days, weeks, months, or year, I will value it. If it only last for a brief period, then I will accept it for what it is.  Each person you interact with serves a purpose whether to make you find something new or help you evaluate what you already have in life. 

My prayer each day is that my relationships should have value; the reality they do.  I do not need something to have defined parameters or focused outcomes to be worth the it's beauty in gold. I also do not want the value to be defined because of a "forced" interactions but one of natural proportions. Yes, it is a mutual responsibility to live and let live through each relationship so I urge you to find peace in the relationships you form.  Not everyone will be your friend; some will just be "associates" as I learned in middle school.  Regardless of how you form the relationship, you deserve love and respect.  

You will probably ask if I will stumble and fall with this idea of natural relationships and the answer is yes I will.  However, I challenge you all to make me dig deeper, love more passionately, and find the true beauty in conversations and interactions.  I know it sounds a little cliche but in this life we only have one life to live but I, like my fellow readers, need to do it without worry or fears. I make mistakes. You make mistakes. We all make mistakes.  It is not a mistake when it challenges us to be more and think more.  Therefore, I move forward with no regrets and only hopes for what is to come. 

To 2014, I look forward to living life and forming more authentic relationships. Today, I reflect and listen to the following song to prepare me for what is to come in 2014: 

Until tomorrow, may your day be filled with peace, love, and joy. 

Peace and Blessings, 
Stephen  

Celebrating the Holidays with the Dominys

Home is Where the Heart Is. 

Here is a picture of me with the brothers (and "sister" Jenna) at my grandparents in Macon, Georgia. 

Music of the Heart (for this Season)

Please check out the following links of music to share in my feelings that occurred this season - 

Let There Be Peace on Earth: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qzMl6g6nDzE

Breath of Heaven: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3VyK8ftdF08

Ten Thousand Joys: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vjgTmco9mCM

A Hallelujah Christmas: http://www.uptv.com/blog/uplifting-video-cloverton-leonard-cohen-hallelujah-song

New Adventures - Where Will It Lead Me?

It's been over a year since my last blog post and I have decided this academic year to take more time to blog and focus on reflection in my life and in my career.  With this being said, I think it's time for a catch up blog.  What's happened in the last year? Well...

I started my career at Kennesaw State University advising the Interfraternity Council along with other programming based initiatives while also exploring means for collaboration and growth.  I have found comfort in my career and believe that I have found a place to begin roots for the future.  I feel very encouraged by the people that I surround myself with at KSU. 

In my volunteer life, I have engaged in several different things. 

First, I started volunteering with Atlanta Pride and serving as a Lead Ambassador to help encourage and enhance the patron experience for all that support and attend our annual festival.  A year later, I am Co-Chair for Pride Ambassadors and work to ensure that all volunteers aid in the hospitality of our VIPs. I have found a calling to help in the education, advocacy, and collaboration of people to support and advance GLBTIQ initiatives and equality.  I am excited for the 2013 Atlanta Pride Festival in October and invite you all to attend. 

Second, I loved working with NASPA that I thought it would just be me doing social media for a while.  In late fall 2012, I was asked if I would be interested in being Chair-Elect for the Fraternity|Sorority Knowledge Community.  Obviously, my nerves were shot, thought I was too young, and asked myself what do I have to lose... so, I said yes.  At the 2014 NASPA Annual Conference in Baltimore, Curtis Burrill and I will assume our roles as Co-Chairs for the Fraternity|Sorority Knowledge Community.  I could not be more excited but also honored to serve higher education in a way that brings the voices, the people, and the spirit of the fraternal movement together for at least two years. I imagine it will be longer. 

Third, I continued presenting at SEIFC. It seems like it was yesterday when I went to my first SEIFC (2008). In early 2013, a changing of the guard occurred and was offered the opportunity to join the professional staff for SEIFC - it's been a humbling and full circle experience and cannot wait to see what the future holds.  I love to be able to challenge and support fraternity men through their development and progress. 

Overall, life is good. I have been thankful for the opportunities given to me and look forward to what else God has in store for me.  Remember, your values speak. 

See You When I See You: A Post-Graduation Reflection

"Shelby, it's time! Shelby, it's time!" As I remember this line for the famous classic, Steel Magnolias, I reflect on the two years of serving, learning, and growing at Florida State University.  As of April 27, 2012, I graduate from FSU with my masters degree in higher education and student affairs.  As many colleagues stated before I began this journey, the experience in graduate school is over in a blink of an eye.  Of course, it did just thank.  I remember walking onto campus in February 2010 following my presentations at SEIFC.  I was so excited yet so nervous.  Would I make the right connection? Would the program be the right fit for me? Would I walk away from this experience changed?  To all of these questions, I can respond, "YES!"  

My journey at Florida State has been one with many opportunities, challenges, and successes but one thing that I remember most of the is support.  Whether I challenged the process with developmental models for programs while serving as a graduate assistant or the theoretical framework of Kohlberg and how it influences how I educate and model my work with and for students.  Another element has been my process of understanding "us" - this is not about me or what they do but rather what do we and us do.  It probably was one of my most challenging learning curves to understand how to effectively collaborate with others without focusing on the potential recognition of the work.  Through these times and many others,  the faculty, administrators, and colleagues have stood by me for better or for worse.  

The Center for Leadership and Civic Education was the mecca of my heart and soul.  I found my faith, my love, and my passions through my interactions and collaboration while serving with the team that we affectionately know as The Center.  Whether Dr. Mills or Heather Stitely challenging me on how I see fraternity and sorority as a values based movement rather than just social groups or reflecting with Dr. Osteen and Jennifer Dascomb on different personal and professional experiences, I found my home.  The smiles, the laughter, the music, and the tears have been a part of me and my growth while working at the Center. Each day I found the strength to commit myself to the fundamental constructs of educating and developing students in a environment that challenges and supports each step they take in their experiences.  

When I walked across the stage at my hooding ceremony, tears filled my eyes because I felt that I am prepared to serve as a professional in higher education.  Hearing Virginia Byrne reflect on her time at FSU brought the laughter and smiles back while I kept reminding myself that this would be the last time we would all be in one room together.  As each member of my cohort moves away or each of the students leave (or graduates), I tell them that I will see them when I see them.  I cannot say good bye because it is not the end.  Many of the people I have had the pleasure to work or grow with while at FSU will continue with me in the future, whether that be big or small.  As Jason Aldean sings, "we will laugh about the old days and catch up on the new."  I am proud of what has become me as a student and now as I transition into being a professional.  Yeah, there are tears and music to go along with it but I will never forget Florida State and the impact that has been forever made on my heart, mind, and soul. I pray my life serves as a reflection of my work and my education.  Let the search for knowledge continue. L&R! 

The Placement Exchange: A Young Professional’s Reflection of the Journey

Calm... In the process, I can assure you most people are not calm. For me, the experience is calm but more so re-affirming my commitment to serve in higher education. If you asked my mentors, they would tell you that I appeared to be calmer at The Placement Exchange rather than the conference. However, I was not always this way. Many times I struggled to find my self, my understanding, and my place in this profession. A few months prior to The Placement Exchange I was stressed, panicked, and nervous about one thing.... the unknown. I am sure that the limited postings on The Placement Exchange website had me at a level of alarm especially when you look for Greek Affairs to find less than 50 positions available. As weeks progressed, my search intensified and navigated in many different directions. Although my map of the future was not clear, I knew I would find myself in this process. Until The Placement Exchange, I had few interviews that I connected. Now, I am in Phoenix for The Placement Exchange and the 2012 NASPA Conference and my fears have tampered down. To be honest, I worried that my housing colleagues would be successful and I would struggled. Obviously, I recognize that this is about fit not a competition among peers. I found colleges and universities that I adore and love while others will make great colleagues and partners for future collaboration.

In addition to the relationships with colleagues and universities, I created other new relationships that revolved around “THE TABLE” which was a common meeting spot for me and several other candidates across the country. The common meeting spot became in some regards our home. As each of the candidates come from varying backgrounds and interests, we found something in common – a passion for holistic student education and engagement. Although in some eyes, we appeared to be a clique but we are more than that. We are a strong formation of candidates supportive of the actions of our fellow tablemates. We ate together, laughed together, discussed the hard issues together, and found each other together. Although my cohort reflects certain similarities, it has been said that those who struggle together have an unparalleled bond.

Although The Placement Exchange may intimidate many candidates, there is something in this experience that brings out the underlying truths of student affairs professionals. First, be yourself – not the hypothetical or the “I am somebody in front of others.” You will uncover that finding yourself and being you are important to the success of your job search process. Second, this process is about “fit.” Be honest with yourself about how you feel in regards to the interview and interactions that you have with the professionals from the respective college or university. If you can be true to yourself and find the right fit – you set your self up for success. Third, be honest. Do not act like you can do something when you cannot. I realized in my process that I had no working knowledge of scheduling software for fraternities and sororities. As much as I wanted to say yes, I stated that I did not but was willing to learn. Finally, be patient. I recognize that this is the worst virtue for many young and entry-level professionals but I can assure you that good things come to those who wait.

Honestly, I believe that this has been a worthwhile experience. I would not change this experience for anything. I feel more prepared to present myself to others as well as give my story of past, present, and future endeavors as a professional. I also thank Florida State University for the countless hours of mentorship, preparation, education, and follow-up that you have invested into me as I prepare to take the next step in my professional career. The Florida State Division of Student Affairs, College of Education, and alumni have significantly influenced the man and professional that I am today. Although I do not know what the next step may be, I will continue to know that I am prepared for a professional in higher education and holistic student learning.