Search Continues at APSU

Well, it has been months since I wrote on my personal blog but have lots of ideas lately. I have been in Tennessee for 22 days. However, I want to reflect back on the beginning. When I left Tallahassee, I was nervous, scared, anxious, and excited though I had no idea what exactly I was doing. I left behind what is common for a challenge. I left to find something more. As Brianna says, I am exploring my more. I am searching for more.

The faculty, staff, and students are TOP NOTCH here at Austin Peay. They welcomed me in with open arms and have been very supportive as I am learning about their campus and the opportunities here in Clarksville. I laugh and smile several times a day here because of the students and what they bring to each day, including the ones that refer to me as "THE INTERN."

I started out this experience working with Student Conduct, including education surrounding values/ethics. As I have begun work on these programs, I have begun to personally reflect on my values and how I act/behave in various settings. The more I reflected I feel the more I started to grow up. As someone who strives to educate others, I am discovering more about myself. When we least expect to learn, we learn beyond belief.

I hope to get back into the swing of daily/weekly blogging. Stay tuned, friends!

Letting Go...

In my first post of 2011, I stated it would be a change for me in many ways. I want to be a happier, healthier, and more loving person in 2011. However, one thing I have to learn is to let go of the past. You may ask what do you mean by the past. Recently, I dealt with some personal issues that left me feeling saddened and lonely. It made me feel like my best was not good enough anymore and that what I thought would be one day has turned to never.

It is hard to process through information that leaves your heart heavy and yearning for something without direction. One side of me spent time reflecting on my life up to this point; while, the other focused on the search for knowledge. This type of physical and emotional experience has made me not only a more reflective but determined individual.

It was from the dark place that I discovered that my passion and finesse for life has never left me nor has my friends or family. The love and support to know that I am surrounded by those who cares make me feel 100% better than ever. However, have I learned to let go? In some ways, yes I have figured it out. Although the "letting go" experience is constantly occurring, the steps are baby steps.

It is hard to wake up and just think about the dead weight that used to surrounded my mind, body, and soul. As I discovered this week, one song has inspired me to realize that life gets better and that I love who I am and who I have become. As one of the lyrics says, "I will dry those eyes" and today I can dry my eyes and position myself with self-esteem. There is no day but today and must seize the moments that leave me "without words."

If you are interested in the songs and lyrics for this post. Check them out:

I Won't Let Go-Rascal Flatts

It’s like a storm
That cuts a path
It’s breaks your will
It feels like that

You think your lost
But your not lost on your own
Your not alone
I will stand by you
I will help you through
When you’ve done all you can do
If you can’t cope
I will dry your eyes
I will fight your fight
I will hold you tight
And I wont let go

It hurts my heart
To see you cry
I know it’s dark
This part of life
Oh it finds us all
And we’re too small
To stop the rain
Oh but when it rains

I will stand by you
I will help you through
When you’ve done all you can do
And you can’t cope
I will dry your eyes
I will fight your fight
I will hold you tight

And I won't let you fall
Don’t be afraid to fall
I’m right here to catch you
I wont let you down
It wont get you down
Your gonna make it
Yea I know you can make it

Cause I will stand by you
I will help you through
When you’ve done all you can do
And you can’t cope
And I will dry your eyes
I will fight your fight
I will hold you tight
And I won't let go
Oh I’m gonna hold you
And I won't let go
Wont let you go
No I won't

Thank you for reading and look forward to another blog in the next few days.

2011: A New Beginning...

For 23 years, I lived the the light of those around me. I have done what everyone expected of me and the societal norms that apparently I am to live by. However, I am uncovering that I need to look beyond the expectations of others and these supposed norms. I need to find "me" who I truly am as an individual and person.

Katy Perry stated it best, "you are original and cannot be replace." I know my professional goals and objectives continue to be steadfast and secure that I want to work with college age students through their developmental process. Obviously, life is not a piece of cake but it is the what Miley Cyrus calls the "climb" that is important to each student's journey.

As I journey through the next few months, I will be evaluating and re-evaluating each relationship that I have with individuals as well as how can I improve myself. In 2011, I have chose to lose weight. It was seeing my family struggling through health issues and diabetes that I realized that my health cannot be my demise. Although my plan is vague at this point, I am learning more about fitness and trying to discover healthier eating habits.

Also in 2011, I want to ensure I have a strong relationship with myself. As many of you may know, I have been single for quite some time and need to discover what I love about myself to share it with the world. I am learning to seize opportunities and the day.

After watching the movie, "Letters to God," I have been inspired by one song- "You Give Me Hope."

I have listed the lyrics below for you to reflect over as well. Who knows what the results of 2011 will be but I am not wasting time. :) Thank you for your support and continuing to read my blog.

"YOU GIVE ME HOPE" by Between the Trees

I look at your smiling face,
Your so weak, yet you have such strength,
You take a glance around this place,
You make the best of everything

You give me hope, in spite of everything,
You show me love, even with so much pain
So I'll take this life and live like I was given another try

We laugh, we cry
Sometimes we're broken and we don't know why,
I'm tired and I lose my way,
you help me find faith, oOo

You give me hope, in spite of everything,
You show me love, even with so much pain

So I'll take this life and live like I was given another try
Just give me another try

You give me hope, in spite of everything,
You show me love, even with so much pain
So I'll take this life and live like I was given another try

You give me hope, in spite of everything,
You show me love, even with so much pain
So I'll take this life and live like I was given another try
Just give me another try
Just give me another try

Live and Learn: A Graduate Student Reflection

November 30, 2010---

As I grow another year older, I realize I have not taken the time to write or reflect on my experiences since the summer. With this in mind, I begin to think, “who is the guy that I see now compared to the one who graduated in 2009.” When I last wrote, I began preparing for my departure from Chi Phi Fraternity and begin my new journey as a graduate student at Florida State University. Obviously, life has changed in the course of four or five months.

First, I must thank the Chi Phi National Staff for an excellent tenure with the organization as well as supporting me in my efforts to ensure the successful execution of the 145^th Chi Phi Congress in Boston, Massachusetts. The experiences from my first professional position allowed me the chance to grow in a multitude of ways, especially as a well-rounded individual. No experience has allowed me to ask questions, make changes, and grow from successes and educational moments (remember, I do not believe in failure).

Next, I moved to Tallahassee, Florida, this experience was my first move outside of Georgia in twenty-three years. I thought that I would enjoy the moving process but I did not it made me anxious, nervous, and worried about what the future held for me in a new environment. For the first time, I felt vulnerable to the experience. Most of those emotions stemmed from being in a new place, new people, new job, and new educational experiences. Also, I worried how would it be to live with someone who I had little knowledge or information about from the other side of the country. Chad has turned out to be one of the most interesting people to live with. Of course, we have our moments but he and I support each other in our journey at Florida State University. I am so glad to call him my confidant and friend. I look forward to what the future holds in “the Bungalow.”

In the beginning of August, I began my position as a graduate student at the Center for Leadership and Civic Education. I will tell you as much as I felt nervous I found a network of professionals and students that are truly committed to their experience and ensuring the success of both undergraduates and community advancement. I work with service learning in multiple facets. I assist faculty in preparation of service learning course by research and syllabi development. Additionally, I work with honors student through the service-learning project. I am excited for my first group of student to advise next semester through the honors project. With the excitement building, I cannot forget to mention that I am rigorously working on Florida State University’s President’s Honor Roll application. If you are not aware of the program, it is a national award given by President Obama to college and university campuses that are making measurable impact in the community. Once that comes to an end, I will be gearing up for my opportunity to work with our Outreach program in the spring and help develop stronger relations with our agencies and students, especially working with facilitators and reflection from the outreach experience.

As the semester comes to close, I have found myself challenged and excited to see what the future holds and the Center for Leadership and Civic Education. I find that they act as “family” and allow me to cry, smile, and scream in anger and excitement. To all of you, I am so thankful for you in my life, especially my supervisors, Ms. Elizabeth Swiman and Dr. Steve Mills.

Aside from my assistantship, I have been taking 9 hours of graduate level course work. Courses are a bit different from undergraduate work; however, I enjoy the reading and have learned to reflect and be intentional about each item I participate in through the Higher Education program. I am blessed to know that the professors realize emotions and life; thus, it allows me to explore options and ways to grow as a person and a professional. Dr. Guthrie and Dr. Schwartz-thank you for believing in me and allowing me to test my boundaries in certain areas of expertise and research.

Overall, this experience has been a barrel of emotions but as Corey Smith states in one of his songs, “ If I could do it all over again, I would do it all the same.” I know that when I leave Florida State University I will be one of the most prepared professionals for the student affairs field. I am excited for the next steps I take in the next few months and hope to discover more about who I am as a professional and the philosophy that I strive to live by as a professional. Twenty-three years have come and continue but I look forward to learning, growing, and impacting the world. Thanks for reading and hope to have another exciting blog after the AFA Annual Meeting in Phoenix, AZ.

The Perfect Fan

It has been a while since I wrote last and I need to catch up. I have so much to write about lately. Whether I think about how much I miss my family or thinking about relationships over the years, I have much to share with the world. So, we will start at the beginning. Yes, I mean the beginning. No we are not talking biblical but we are talking about where I began.

Throughout my life, I have had two people that have been there by my side. I never realized the importance of my parents until I graduated from high school. Of course, I cared and loved each of them but was an independent person through much of my life and tried to only let them know of what I needed or was struggling with until the last minute. As a child, I know I could be a handful and always wanted to be involved in it all. Surprising how my life is still that way.

When I was in middle and high school, I knew they expected "perfection" and I strove to live a life in such a manner. With that, I worked to make great grades and stayed involved in a plethora of activities, both during and after school. However, I did not realize when you have multiple children it can be more of a challenge.

Many times my parents only had time to drop me off at events for they were taking the others to daycare or their daily activities. I did not mind. Unfortunately, I became distant during my high school years because I never felt like that supported my activities. I felt like they only cared for my brothers but little did I know they always cared about me. I just seemed to go through that first born selfish phase.

When I left for college, it was bittersweet but not too hard since I moved in with my grandparents. My parents called and visited often. Mom was always by my side even when dad was overwhelmed with work and not able to attend or talk. Regardless, I knew that they cared.

It was in college how much more that I realized I needed them to talk things through on a daily or weekly basis. As my education progressed in college, my guidance became less and less and focused more on life lessons and getting their perspective. Through my years in college, they supported all my endeavors and attended many of my performances and ceremonies.

When I moved away to Lawrenceville, it was the first time I felt I was on my own but did not know I would face many challenges in this somewhat cruel world. However, I never forgot my parents, whether calling for advice or calling just to say "hello." I know I am not perfect but do try to live a life of virtue and promise. My parents have raised three great children with little praise or thanks for doing it. Therefore, I write this blog in honor of them, my parents, who have been together 27 years (28 years in August). Although they face struggles from time to times, they always make it a happy home and that I am thankful for and for raising three great sons each with our own personality and interests.

As I make up my memories of Georgia to move to Florida, I know that no matter where I go that they will love me unconditionally and be there for me through my trials and tribulations of life. Today, I salute to Darrell and Patti Dominy for teaching me how to me a man and educating me in a way that will provide for a family in the future. May God continue to bless our family in the ways that he always does. Love is timeless and their love is truly timeless for each and their children.

Music of My Heart

Time after time I resort back to the understanding that music helps me understand and put words into place for my emotions. In the last few days, I have thought long and hard about life in the direction of what God is telling my heart. At times, my heart seems sad or gloomy but most times it is full of excitement and energy to take on the world. Further, I look back at my parents and how they introduced me into the music world and kept me going with music through years of rehearsals, practices, and performances either as a saxophonist or a vocalist. I love them for their relentless support and care of me through the years because as the Backstreet Boys said "[they] were the perfect fans."

Anyways, today's blog is more about where I am and the shape of my heart. No, this time it is not a boy band tribute. Although, I could if I wanted to. As of right now, my life is heading in a new direction. I have officially announced that I am leaving Chi Phi Fraternity in July and that I will be packing up my life, as I know it in Georgia, and moving to Florida. Who would have thought after almost 24 years of life that I would move out of state? I did. I knew from the beginning that God had better plans for me and it may or may not involve living in Georgia.

Back to my focus, it is amazing how God shows us through music how to relate to our emotions. This week on Glee Mr. Shuester, Matt Morrison, encouraged the glee club to understand the journey of life and how it relates to their performance at regionals. Now, I look at life in a similar regard. Our life is a journey and at times music relates to get us where we belong in that particular place in time.

Now, I am preparing to embark on new experiences as a graduate student in Higher Education and will work with different types of students, faculty, and departments, whether on campus or off campus. I look forward to it all but know that my legacy that I leave with Chi Phi means more to me than anyone can understand. I know I have only been here for over a year but it feels like a lifetime of memories.

Thus, Matt Morrison's rendition of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" spoke to me in a very emotional way. I researched the words and will provide them below. As individuals, we all "wish upon a star and want to wake up where the clouds are far behind me." We hope for the best in all we do and hope that the past remains in the past; however, I have never had an experience as working for Chi Phi that has developed me more as a human and a professional.

I want all educators to know that you are making a difference, whether it is in your own life or the lives of students and other professionals. Take each day as an opportunity and dare to dream so you do not ask yourself "Why, Oh Why can't I?" because you can.

Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high
And the dreams that you dream of once in a lullaby

Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly
And the dreams that you dream of
Dreams really do come true

Someday I wish upon a star
Wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where trouble melts like lemondrops
High above the chimney top
That's where you'll find me

Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly
And the dreams that you dare to
Oh why oh why can't I

Well I see trees of green and red roses too
I'll watch them bloom for me and you
And I think to myself
What a wonderful world

Well I see skies of blue and
I see clouds of white
And the brightness of day
I like the dark
And I think to myself what a wonderful world

The colors of the rainbow
So pretty in the sky
and also on the faces of people passing by
I see friends shaking hands saying
How do you do
They're really saying I, I love you

I hear babies cry and I watch them grow
They'll learn much more then we'll know
And I think to myself what a wonderful world
world...

Someday I wish upon a star
Wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where trouble melts like lemondrops
High above the chimney top
That's where you'll find me

Oh somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high
And the dreams that you dare to
Why oh why can't I...

New Opportunities

It has been over a week since my last blog; however, I have had a few experiences that give me material to discuss through my blog. Therefore, I will catch you up on what is happening in my life. During the last week, I have seen potential career opportunities, frustration with people in my life, and had the opportunity to work with alumni and educate them about my generation. Each of these experiences has allowed me to evaluate my life a little differently than I have recently done through my religious pursuit.

As the week began, I evaluated what I plan to do with my life. I know that I am meant to work with college students and helping them enhance their college experience. However, I have never thought to look at it further than just that. Currently, I work in fraternity and sorority life and will be working as a graduate assistant in service learning at Florida State in the fall. Ultimately, I know I want to be a Dean of Students or Vice President of Student Affairs. The way I get there is through different opportunities and God's plan for my life.

As the week progressed, my understanding of what my future holds was hinder by frustrations with people who think they need to be involved in every decision I make as well as tear me down to make them feel empowered. I have learned that you will not "rain on my parade." I take each day in stride and know that they are only trying to do what is in the best interest of myself but sometimes those individuals need to step back and let life happen. It ALWAYS turns out like it should.

As the week came to a close, I spent time with alumni from across the Southeast educating them in various capacities on how to work with Chapters and Colonies as well as be an effective mentor and advisor. Although I experienced frustrations during the week, I love having the ability to educate others and help make a difference in the lives of college students. My favorite component of the weekend was the discussion I lead on the "Millennial Generation of College Students." As a member of this generation, it made me look deep at myself and help guide alumni into understanding us more. I do know that we have a tendency to be self-centered, highly competitive, and are more confident but we are striving to be a more accepting society.

Because of these concerns, I hope to provide the necessary tools to ensure that students to not lose sight of the important parts of communication and social interaction. It is even more important that generations before us understand so that they may help build the gap between the Baby Boomers, GenXers, and the Millennial generations. Social Excellence is crucial for this to continue. It is something that will change not only your life but the lives of others. It will make you more of a value to society and show how our generation has not lost the enthusiasm to care for others. Therefore, I believe in Phired Up Productions challenge:

"Challenge yourself everyday, in every social situation to engage. Be open. Be willing. Be curious. Be vulnerable. Be confident. Be responsible. Be fun. Make the decision. Dare yourself to be socially excellent and share the dare with others."

Make this a goal for yourself and you will see a difference not only in your life but in the lives that you interact. Thanks for listening to my learning outcomes this week and hopefully will have a new one for you tomorrow... until then, Love and Respect.