See You When I See You: A Post-Graduation Reflection

"Shelby, it's time! Shelby, it's time!" As I remember this line for the famous classic, Steel Magnolias, I reflect on the two years of serving, learning, and growing at Florida State University.  As of April 27, 2012, I graduate from FSU with my masters degree in higher education and student affairs.  As many colleagues stated before I began this journey, the experience in graduate school is over in a blink of an eye.  Of course, it did just thank.  I remember walking onto campus in February 2010 following my presentations at SEIFC.  I was so excited yet so nervous.  Would I make the right connection? Would the program be the right fit for me? Would I walk away from this experience changed?  To all of these questions, I can respond, "YES!"  

My journey at Florida State has been one with many opportunities, challenges, and successes but one thing that I remember most of the is support.  Whether I challenged the process with developmental models for programs while serving as a graduate assistant or the theoretical framework of Kohlberg and how it influences how I educate and model my work with and for students.  Another element has been my process of understanding "us" - this is not about me or what they do but rather what do we and us do.  It probably was one of my most challenging learning curves to understand how to effectively collaborate with others without focusing on the potential recognition of the work.  Through these times and many others,  the faculty, administrators, and colleagues have stood by me for better or for worse.  

The Center for Leadership and Civic Education was the mecca of my heart and soul.  I found my faith, my love, and my passions through my interactions and collaboration while serving with the team that we affectionately know as The Center.  Whether Dr. Mills or Heather Stitely challenging me on how I see fraternity and sorority as a values based movement rather than just social groups or reflecting with Dr. Osteen and Jennifer Dascomb on different personal and professional experiences, I found my home.  The smiles, the laughter, the music, and the tears have been a part of me and my growth while working at the Center. Each day I found the strength to commit myself to the fundamental constructs of educating and developing students in a environment that challenges and supports each step they take in their experiences.  

When I walked across the stage at my hooding ceremony, tears filled my eyes because I felt that I am prepared to serve as a professional in higher education.  Hearing Virginia Byrne reflect on her time at FSU brought the laughter and smiles back while I kept reminding myself that this would be the last time we would all be in one room together.  As each member of my cohort moves away or each of the students leave (or graduates), I tell them that I will see them when I see them.  I cannot say good bye because it is not the end.  Many of the people I have had the pleasure to work or grow with while at FSU will continue with me in the future, whether that be big or small.  As Jason Aldean sings, "we will laugh about the old days and catch up on the new."  I am proud of what has become me as a student and now as I transition into being a professional.  Yeah, there are tears and music to go along with it but I will never forget Florida State and the impact that has been forever made on my heart, mind, and soul. I pray my life serves as a reflection of my work and my education.  Let the search for knowledge continue. L&R! 

The Placement Exchange: A Young Professional’s Reflection of the Journey

Calm... In the process, I can assure you most people are not calm. For me, the experience is calm but more so re-affirming my commitment to serve in higher education. If you asked my mentors, they would tell you that I appeared to be calmer at The Placement Exchange rather than the conference. However, I was not always this way. Many times I struggled to find my self, my understanding, and my place in this profession. A few months prior to The Placement Exchange I was stressed, panicked, and nervous about one thing.... the unknown. I am sure that the limited postings on The Placement Exchange website had me at a level of alarm especially when you look for Greek Affairs to find less than 50 positions available. As weeks progressed, my search intensified and navigated in many different directions. Although my map of the future was not clear, I knew I would find myself in this process. Until The Placement Exchange, I had few interviews that I connected. Now, I am in Phoenix for The Placement Exchange and the 2012 NASPA Conference and my fears have tampered down. To be honest, I worried that my housing colleagues would be successful and I would struggled. Obviously, I recognize that this is about fit not a competition among peers. I found colleges and universities that I adore and love while others will make great colleagues and partners for future collaboration.

In addition to the relationships with colleagues and universities, I created other new relationships that revolved around “THE TABLE” which was a common meeting spot for me and several other candidates across the country. The common meeting spot became in some regards our home. As each of the candidates come from varying backgrounds and interests, we found something in common – a passion for holistic student education and engagement. Although in some eyes, we appeared to be a clique but we are more than that. We are a strong formation of candidates supportive of the actions of our fellow tablemates. We ate together, laughed together, discussed the hard issues together, and found each other together. Although my cohort reflects certain similarities, it has been said that those who struggle together have an unparalleled bond.

Although The Placement Exchange may intimidate many candidates, there is something in this experience that brings out the underlying truths of student affairs professionals. First, be yourself – not the hypothetical or the “I am somebody in front of others.” You will uncover that finding yourself and being you are important to the success of your job search process. Second, this process is about “fit.” Be honest with yourself about how you feel in regards to the interview and interactions that you have with the professionals from the respective college or university. If you can be true to yourself and find the right fit – you set your self up for success. Third, be honest. Do not act like you can do something when you cannot. I realized in my process that I had no working knowledge of scheduling software for fraternities and sororities. As much as I wanted to say yes, I stated that I did not but was willing to learn. Finally, be patient. I recognize that this is the worst virtue for many young and entry-level professionals but I can assure you that good things come to those who wait.

Honestly, I believe that this has been a worthwhile experience. I would not change this experience for anything. I feel more prepared to present myself to others as well as give my story of past, present, and future endeavors as a professional. I also thank Florida State University for the countless hours of mentorship, preparation, education, and follow-up that you have invested into me as I prepare to take the next step in my professional career. The Florida State Division of Student Affairs, College of Education, and alumni have significantly influenced the man and professional that I am today. Although I do not know what the next step may be, I will continue to know that I am prepared for a professional in higher education and holistic student learning.

Memorable Quotes

"Before you are a leader, success is all about growing yourself. When you become a leader, success is about growing others." - Jack Welch

"If we always do what we've always done, we will get what we've always got." --Adam Urbanski

"Never doubt that a small group of committed people can change the world. Indeed it is the only thing that ever has." -Margaret Mead

"We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give."--Winston Churchill

"You simply can't lose interest in it, shrug, and give up-any more than you can lose interest in your own future." -- Charles Fishman

"Everybody can be great. Because everyone can serve. You don't have to have a college degree to serve. You don't have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. You don't have to know about Plato and Aristotle to serve You don't have to know Einstein's Theory of Relativity to serve. You don't have to know the second theory of thermodynamics to serve. You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love."--Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr.

"Come to the edge, He said. They said, We are afraid. Come to the edge, He said. They came. He pushed them/ And they flew."--Guillaume Apollinaire

"Oaths keep us accountable." -- Gary Wiser

"Friends tell you what you want to hear, brothers and sisters tell you what you need to hear."-- Anonymous

"Do what you love in the service of those who love what you do." --Anonymous

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Jeremiah 29:11

I believe in the Chi Phi Fraternity

Again, I have fallen behind on blogs but I look to catch up within the next few days on my summer.

Today, I focus on an element of my life that represents my past, present, and future at least as a fraternity volunteer. I guess I want to reflect on my experience with the Chi Phi Fraternity. In 2008, I met Kim Godwin, Director of Leadership Education at the time, at UIFI Session 3. From then, I stayed in communication with her and discovered an opportunity to work as a field executive, or fraternity consultant, for Chi Phi Fraternity. Even with little knowledge of the fraternity, I began my research and landed a position working for Chi Phi Fraternity. During the next 14 months, I experienced the most dynamic levels of education and professional growth than I ever expected. Although I faced a few concerns regarding my credentials from alumni, I quickly worked to prove my worth to the organization.

After traveling to visit 40 chapters and colonies, multitude of Regional Leadership Alliances, and hundreds of conference calls for various educational and chapter development programs, I found my understanding my true passion for higher education and student development. I realized my potential to be a true Student Affairs professional. Although my discovery was refreshing, I had to make a hard decision to leave Chi Phi National Staff. Thus, my last hoorah was planning and execution of the 145th Chi Phi Congress in Boston, MA. When the 14 months had ended, I cried for various reasons but one was the fact that I felt I would lose the connections that I had to Chi Phi.

However, the connection remained. At the end of the 145th Congress, I was asked to co-chair a committee for the Grand Council on Accreditation, a program I had sent several months researching and developing for implementation within the fraternity. It was an honor to be asked but was not sure what would happen with the next year, especially since I was off to Florida State for graduate school.

Little did I know I would discover the most rewarding experience yet to come. The committee planned and executed a effective program for the pilot/research year with Chi Phi. Although we had some modifications and slight hiccups, the program proved to achieve the goal of the committee. The countless phone calls, conference call meetings with committee members, hours of meetings with graders and discussions about reviews, and presentations and proposals proved that it was all worth it.

This year at the 146th Chi Phi Congress I was excited to see the undergraduates support the program and move forward with the full implementation of the program after 7 years of preparation. I also was humbled by the organization to be recognized with the Distinguished Service Award. Just ask Lauren Moran. I was shocked as all get out. I thought that award was given to long time volunteers, not little ole me. When Michael Azarian began speaking and realized who it was, I started crying. I never realized the impact that I was making on Chi Phi Fraternity. My love and support of the organization will not change and look forward to the a lifetime of being a "Friend of Chi Phi."

Now, I look forward to a full year of implementation of accreditation. As we move the program moves forward, I wait in anticipation of how the results will continue to make for a better organization with stronger educational programs and a enhanced support network to move Chi Phi and the fraternal movement in a positive direction. In addition, I look forward to serving the fraternity and its members. As the undergraduates recite in the Chi Phi creed as do I as a volunteer, "I believe in the Chi Phi Fraternity." To this end, I thank you for believing in me and allowing me to come into the Chi Phi fraternal experience.

VIBRANT in...PINK!

In addition to my internship this summer, I had two great volunteer opportunities. With each experience, I felt I would enhance the skills and knowledge I have in the various fields of higher education. However, this first experience was VIBRANT and UNIQUE.

After the semester of working with the North-American Interfraternity Conference working with leadership program development, I sought out another opportunity to facilitate UIFI. Since my first placement conflicted with an educational course, I assumed that this summer I would not have the opportunity to facilitate. However, a last minute opportunity came open. When I received the call, I thought they would tell me UIFI Session 6 or later. Well, I found out it was Phi Mu UIFI Session 1.

When finding out which session I had been selected, I was ECSTATIC. The UIFI experience is one life changing experience. I credit my UIFI Session in 2008 as one of my top three life changing experiences. Phi Mu Women's Fraternity was the first organization based UIFI session. With this in mind, I was not sure how this all would work but continue to support the mantra, "Trust the Process," when I am at UIFI.

I drove to Bloomington, IN with excitement and nerve all over the circuit board. How would sorority women react to my passion about ritual and stance on living your values and not compromising who you are to accomplish your goals. I did not know what to think. What will the students be like? Who will be my counterpart for our chapter? Will we get them to the expected outcomes? All I can say is AMAZING, AMAZING, and YES!

The quality and dynamics of lead facilitators, chapter facilitators, Phi Mu staff, volunteers, and collegians made for one of my most rewarding experiences of a lifetime. As soon as I arrived at the Phi Mu House at Indiana. I felt like I was home (Yes, Phi Mu I said it.) During Day Zero, meeting the facilitators and learning today made me more excited and felt that I was in the right session and would mix well with others.

When the students arrived, I was ready to "whip my hair back and forth," which I did as an icebreaker. They were excited and nervous just like I was before arriving. In addition, I was excited to see my alma mater (Mercer University) represented at that session.

The long days and nights of learning and educating these women had my adrenaline going high and willing to push the women to the next level. I will say these sorority women exceed my expectations. They understood values, purpose, and need to enhance the fraternal movement, whether a discussion about leadership, values, or ritual-THEY GOT IT! Cassie and I worked with Chapter One and pushed our women to think beyond the norm. When they said how do we make it work, I said you make it work by you living the difference. I am proud of the women I worked with. We smiled, laughed, cried, argued, and agreed to go beyond the societal norms and live to the expectations set forth by our founders.

Through this experience, I learned that I have a passion to work with sorority women and may look into working with sorority headquarters in the future. Engaging women and enhancing their ability to lead their chapters through accountability and values makes me excited for the future of higher education and the fraternal movement.

Sometimes, we worry about the environment in which we are placed and think we will not fit. However, I believe using the mantra, "TRUST THE PROCESS" allows us, people and student affairs professionals, to look beyond the comfort zone and seize the opportunity to make a difference. I can assure you the outcome will be two fold for both you and the students involved. May you ask yourself instead will I fit but rather "ARE YOU READY?"

Are you ready to open up to students? Are you ready to trust the process as the students? Are you willing to push the students to the limits to make them see their potential and the purpose of values based living? Will you share a commitment and hold others accountable to enhance the fraternal movement? If you can say yes, then you are READY! I challenge you today to make our fraternal movement stronger than ever and it begins with YOU!

Search Continues at APSU

Well, it has been months since I wrote on my personal blog but have lots of ideas lately. I have been in Tennessee for 22 days. However, I want to reflect back on the beginning. When I left Tallahassee, I was nervous, scared, anxious, and excited though I had no idea what exactly I was doing. I left behind what is common for a challenge. I left to find something more. As Brianna says, I am exploring my more. I am searching for more.

The faculty, staff, and students are TOP NOTCH here at Austin Peay. They welcomed me in with open arms and have been very supportive as I am learning about their campus and the opportunities here in Clarksville. I laugh and smile several times a day here because of the students and what they bring to each day, including the ones that refer to me as "THE INTERN."

I started out this experience working with Student Conduct, including education surrounding values/ethics. As I have begun work on these programs, I have begun to personally reflect on my values and how I act/behave in various settings. The more I reflected I feel the more I started to grow up. As someone who strives to educate others, I am discovering more about myself. When we least expect to learn, we learn beyond belief.

I hope to get back into the swing of daily/weekly blogging. Stay tuned, friends!

Letting Go...

In my first post of 2011, I stated it would be a change for me in many ways. I want to be a happier, healthier, and more loving person in 2011. However, one thing I have to learn is to let go of the past. You may ask what do you mean by the past. Recently, I dealt with some personal issues that left me feeling saddened and lonely. It made me feel like my best was not good enough anymore and that what I thought would be one day has turned to never.

It is hard to process through information that leaves your heart heavy and yearning for something without direction. One side of me spent time reflecting on my life up to this point; while, the other focused on the search for knowledge. This type of physical and emotional experience has made me not only a more reflective but determined individual.

It was from the dark place that I discovered that my passion and finesse for life has never left me nor has my friends or family. The love and support to know that I am surrounded by those who cares make me feel 100% better than ever. However, have I learned to let go? In some ways, yes I have figured it out. Although the "letting go" experience is constantly occurring, the steps are baby steps.

It is hard to wake up and just think about the dead weight that used to surrounded my mind, body, and soul. As I discovered this week, one song has inspired me to realize that life gets better and that I love who I am and who I have become. As one of the lyrics says, "I will dry those eyes" and today I can dry my eyes and position myself with self-esteem. There is no day but today and must seize the moments that leave me "without words."

If you are interested in the songs and lyrics for this post. Check them out:

I Won't Let Go-Rascal Flatts

It’s like a storm
That cuts a path
It’s breaks your will
It feels like that

You think your lost
But your not lost on your own
Your not alone
I will stand by you
I will help you through
When you’ve done all you can do
If you can’t cope
I will dry your eyes
I will fight your fight
I will hold you tight
And I wont let go

It hurts my heart
To see you cry
I know it’s dark
This part of life
Oh it finds us all
And we’re too small
To stop the rain
Oh but when it rains

I will stand by you
I will help you through
When you’ve done all you can do
And you can’t cope
I will dry your eyes
I will fight your fight
I will hold you tight

And I won't let you fall
Don’t be afraid to fall
I’m right here to catch you
I wont let you down
It wont get you down
Your gonna make it
Yea I know you can make it

Cause I will stand by you
I will help you through
When you’ve done all you can do
And you can’t cope
And I will dry your eyes
I will fight your fight
I will hold you tight
And I won't let go
Oh I’m gonna hold you
And I won't let go
Wont let you go
No I won't

Thank you for reading and look forward to another blog in the next few days.