#PhiMuUIFI “To practice day by day...”

It has been quite some time since my last blog post and at times I say, “Yes, I will post something everyday.” The reality is that Stephen gets caught up with work and volunteer commitments that he forgets to make time to post. Therefore, my posts tend to be more sporadic.  Anyways, I have more to posted about than my issues with blog postings. 

On Saturday, I returned from Phi Mu UIFI, Theta Session.  Each year that cup is filled with excitement, opportunity to push for more, and the ability to find courage within undergraduates to move the fraternal movement ever forward.  This year felt different for a few reasons but I wonder if it is because of my perspective or the actual balance of students and facilitators was different.  I am not sure which element changed my experience as a facilitator but will say the “power of women” had dynamics unlike any previous year. 

Just so you know, Phi Mu UIFI has been occurring since 2011.  I have had the privilege to serve three times with the program.  Each year the caliber of women changes, whether top chapter officers to emerging leaders.  This year I believe most, if not all, were emerging leaders within their chapter.  Therefore, you have more women who are new to the experience and have a spark for Phi Mu that is sincere and genuine, at times I want to bottle up their passion and energy.

Obviously with around 90 women in the Phi Mu House at Indiana University, Delta Alpha Chapter, you can feel the camaraderie and even the yearning to meet and interact with each sister in attendance.  Over the course of five days, you enter into a rollercoaster experience that leaves you with the true spirit of fraternity and plan to make a change, regardless of size. During our time together last week, I learned a few things that I think are pertinent to move forward:

• Sometimes our crucibles connect us more than what we can see.  I think the way our lives continue to move quickly that we forget in the same regard of how defining moments in life relate to those we interact with on a daily basis. Therefore, stop and get to know a new person and find out why they believe what they believe? Was there a moment that defined their why?
• Leadership/Values are what you do and know why you do.  Sometimes we focus on understanding the what and how before we start with why. Simon Sinek’s depiction of the golden circles is an accurate idea of how we should center our lives. First, we must start with why before we can make action a reality. If you start with the what and the process without why then life may seem aimless or uncertain.
• Own It! We are easy to blame others for mistakes or circumstances in our life’s perspective.  At the end of the day, you have ownership in how the outcome of your day occurs.  We make mistakes and missteps in life but we have to own it.  If you can turn those experiences into purpose for the future, you will find success.  Success is not defined as a destination but as a journey.
• We must serve before we can serve. I am a firm believer in the idea that we must understand how to serve before we serve as a “leader.” I place “leader” in quote because positional leader has been antiquated for decades and anyone who serves can lead.  However, you must understand the what, why, and how of service to an organization or group of people before you start. Blindly serving only hinders your experience while harming the overall mission of the organization or people. Therefore, learn, grow, lead, and succeed.  The previous statement serves as one of my personal mantra since my college years at Mercer.
  
• Values need action for success. Many times people pay lip service to values and say one thing and do another.  However, our actions in life must align with the values you uphold. Although we may make mistakes, we must continue to live the values that we align and aspire to live daily.  As Phi Mu’s creed states, “to practice day by day,” we must practice our values day by day.
• Develop an initial plan before you take action. As a follow-up to the previous point, sometimes we need to plan out our actions beyond the ritual of living a purpose-driven and values-led life. The plan should focus on items and elements that are both attainable yet will make you reach within your potential.  If we only focus on the here and now, we will never be prepared for the future. You never know what a few baby steps could do for the future.
• Remember to give thanks to those who aid along your journey. I am a mixed bag of encouraging the heart because I tend to either do too much or not enough.  The best advice is to never forget the power of a handwritten note because it can make all the difference in a person’s day. Believe me I have a folder entitled “Sunshine” to help me on the days when I am down.
  

It is never known if these relationships developed at Phi Mu UIFI - Theta Session will ever cross again in life but will say we have all the tools to be successful and the support to move mountains.  Never forget the past but let it only push you forward to the future. This year's experience, along with my reflections, rejuvenate my heart to service, my words to challenge others, and my thoughts to become action.  Thus, I am reminded of a reference from the biblical teachings that there is no greater love than this that a man lay down his life for a friend. May your days continue to be move to tears, laugh, and deep thought for each day is our moment which we call life. Peace and Blessings to all.