I have had an interesting experience through my travels. I have seen groups fight over who is going to run recruitment and I have seen men fight over what room they will live in. However, I have yet to have seen this... DRAMA that is never ending! We are expected as representatives of the fraternity to uphold the values and watchword of the brotherhood. Although each member is held to the standards created and maintained by the fraternity, personal conflicts, whether internal or external, seems to be the root of all problems for social organizations.
The drama can be minor as someone stating information about another person or it could be that multiple individuals have a quarrel over something not pertinent to the values or ideals of the fraternity. Most times people want to resolve those issues but I have been dealing with a case that has turned into a nightmare.
When I first arrived, I assumed that the personal struggles where something petty like one new member made fun of another that caused a scuffle between them. It is not like that. They started their experience passionate and driven for the organization.
I thought I knew what I was doing but no one could prepare me for a chapter that was dysfunctional because the Chapter President was having inappropriate relations with recruits while personal conflict divided the colony. All I knew to do was help them see the bigger picture.
I held a Chapter meeting to get down to business and help them establish an identity and goals for the semester. I also utilized it to understand the problems and allowed for them to speak candidly about their issues with each other. I addressed the overall group about how to manage damage control internally; however, I did set up individual meetings to help guide them further.
Unfortunately, the Chapter president did not understand what I meant when I said recruitment is not a dating service. He felt that I did not know what I was talking about and spoke of my previous experiences. The president, later that day, resigned his membership and new officers were elected into place.
It was challenging for me to see this happen. I felt in five days I had destroyed a colony. I called my parents for advice but all I could do is speak of how I was a failure and did not know what I was doing in this position.
When I left the school, I felt energized and that I knew good would come from the new group of men representing the organization. Unfortunately, the group dissolved in October due to disorganize and lack of vision. It was hard to swallow to hear the news but it helped make me a better professional and look at things on a bigger scale than I had previously done as an undergraduate, including as IFC President.
Thus, my advice to undergraduates is to not let negativity and inappropriate behavior tear your dreams apart. Find the right people with the right mindset to help whirlwind your dream into a reality.
For professionals, you will all fall down sometimes but we must learn from our experiences and help make the next experience even better. Do what you love in the service of those who love what you do.
