Live and Learn: A Graduate Student Reflection

November 30, 2010---

As I grow another year older, I realize I have not taken the time to write or reflect on my experiences since the summer. With this in mind, I begin to think, “who is the guy that I see now compared to the one who graduated in 2009.” When I last wrote, I began preparing for my departure from Chi Phi Fraternity and begin my new journey as a graduate student at Florida State University. Obviously, life has changed in the course of four or five months.

First, I must thank the Chi Phi National Staff for an excellent tenure with the organization as well as supporting me in my efforts to ensure the successful execution of the 145^th Chi Phi Congress in Boston, Massachusetts. The experiences from my first professional position allowed me the chance to grow in a multitude of ways, especially as a well-rounded individual. No experience has allowed me to ask questions, make changes, and grow from successes and educational moments (remember, I do not believe in failure).

Next, I moved to Tallahassee, Florida, this experience was my first move outside of Georgia in twenty-three years. I thought that I would enjoy the moving process but I did not it made me anxious, nervous, and worried about what the future held for me in a new environment. For the first time, I felt vulnerable to the experience. Most of those emotions stemmed from being in a new place, new people, new job, and new educational experiences. Also, I worried how would it be to live with someone who I had little knowledge or information about from the other side of the country. Chad has turned out to be one of the most interesting people to live with. Of course, we have our moments but he and I support each other in our journey at Florida State University. I am so glad to call him my confidant and friend. I look forward to what the future holds in “the Bungalow.”

In the beginning of August, I began my position as a graduate student at the Center for Leadership and Civic Education. I will tell you as much as I felt nervous I found a network of professionals and students that are truly committed to their experience and ensuring the success of both undergraduates and community advancement. I work with service learning in multiple facets. I assist faculty in preparation of service learning course by research and syllabi development. Additionally, I work with honors student through the service-learning project. I am excited for my first group of student to advise next semester through the honors project. With the excitement building, I cannot forget to mention that I am rigorously working on Florida State University’s President’s Honor Roll application. If you are not aware of the program, it is a national award given by President Obama to college and university campuses that are making measurable impact in the community. Once that comes to an end, I will be gearing up for my opportunity to work with our Outreach program in the spring and help develop stronger relations with our agencies and students, especially working with facilitators and reflection from the outreach experience.

As the semester comes to close, I have found myself challenged and excited to see what the future holds and the Center for Leadership and Civic Education. I find that they act as “family” and allow me to cry, smile, and scream in anger and excitement. To all of you, I am so thankful for you in my life, especially my supervisors, Ms. Elizabeth Swiman and Dr. Steve Mills.

Aside from my assistantship, I have been taking 9 hours of graduate level course work. Courses are a bit different from undergraduate work; however, I enjoy the reading and have learned to reflect and be intentional about each item I participate in through the Higher Education program. I am blessed to know that the professors realize emotions and life; thus, it allows me to explore options and ways to grow as a person and a professional. Dr. Guthrie and Dr. Schwartz-thank you for believing in me and allowing me to test my boundaries in certain areas of expertise and research.

Overall, this experience has been a barrel of emotions but as Corey Smith states in one of his songs, “ If I could do it all over again, I would do it all the same.” I know that when I leave Florida State University I will be one of the most prepared professionals for the student affairs field. I am excited for the next steps I take in the next few months and hope to discover more about who I am as a professional and the philosophy that I strive to live by as a professional. Twenty-three years have come and continue but I look forward to learning, growing, and impacting the world. Thanks for reading and hope to have another exciting blog after the AFA Annual Meeting in Phoenix, AZ.

The Perfect Fan

It has been a while since I wrote last and I need to catch up. I have so much to write about lately. Whether I think about how much I miss my family or thinking about relationships over the years, I have much to share with the world. So, we will start at the beginning. Yes, I mean the beginning. No we are not talking biblical but we are talking about where I began.

Throughout my life, I have had two people that have been there by my side. I never realized the importance of my parents until I graduated from high school. Of course, I cared and loved each of them but was an independent person through much of my life and tried to only let them know of what I needed or was struggling with until the last minute. As a child, I know I could be a handful and always wanted to be involved in it all. Surprising how my life is still that way.

When I was in middle and high school, I knew they expected "perfection" and I strove to live a life in such a manner. With that, I worked to make great grades and stayed involved in a plethora of activities, both during and after school. However, I did not realize when you have multiple children it can be more of a challenge.

Many times my parents only had time to drop me off at events for they were taking the others to daycare or their daily activities. I did not mind. Unfortunately, I became distant during my high school years because I never felt like that supported my activities. I felt like they only cared for my brothers but little did I know they always cared about me. I just seemed to go through that first born selfish phase.

When I left for college, it was bittersweet but not too hard since I moved in with my grandparents. My parents called and visited often. Mom was always by my side even when dad was overwhelmed with work and not able to attend or talk. Regardless, I knew that they cared.

It was in college how much more that I realized I needed them to talk things through on a daily or weekly basis. As my education progressed in college, my guidance became less and less and focused more on life lessons and getting their perspective. Through my years in college, they supported all my endeavors and attended many of my performances and ceremonies.

When I moved away to Lawrenceville, it was the first time I felt I was on my own but did not know I would face many challenges in this somewhat cruel world. However, I never forgot my parents, whether calling for advice or calling just to say "hello." I know I am not perfect but do try to live a life of virtue and promise. My parents have raised three great children with little praise or thanks for doing it. Therefore, I write this blog in honor of them, my parents, who have been together 27 years (28 years in August). Although they face struggles from time to times, they always make it a happy home and that I am thankful for and for raising three great sons each with our own personality and interests.

As I make up my memories of Georgia to move to Florida, I know that no matter where I go that they will love me unconditionally and be there for me through my trials and tribulations of life. Today, I salute to Darrell and Patti Dominy for teaching me how to me a man and educating me in a way that will provide for a family in the future. May God continue to bless our family in the ways that he always does. Love is timeless and their love is truly timeless for each and their children.

Music of My Heart

Time after time I resort back to the understanding that music helps me understand and put words into place for my emotions. In the last few days, I have thought long and hard about life in the direction of what God is telling my heart. At times, my heart seems sad or gloomy but most times it is full of excitement and energy to take on the world. Further, I look back at my parents and how they introduced me into the music world and kept me going with music through years of rehearsals, practices, and performances either as a saxophonist or a vocalist. I love them for their relentless support and care of me through the years because as the Backstreet Boys said "[they] were the perfect fans."

Anyways, today's blog is more about where I am and the shape of my heart. No, this time it is not a boy band tribute. Although, I could if I wanted to. As of right now, my life is heading in a new direction. I have officially announced that I am leaving Chi Phi Fraternity in July and that I will be packing up my life, as I know it in Georgia, and moving to Florida. Who would have thought after almost 24 years of life that I would move out of state? I did. I knew from the beginning that God had better plans for me and it may or may not involve living in Georgia.

Back to my focus, it is amazing how God shows us through music how to relate to our emotions. This week on Glee Mr. Shuester, Matt Morrison, encouraged the glee club to understand the journey of life and how it relates to their performance at regionals. Now, I look at life in a similar regard. Our life is a journey and at times music relates to get us where we belong in that particular place in time.

Now, I am preparing to embark on new experiences as a graduate student in Higher Education and will work with different types of students, faculty, and departments, whether on campus or off campus. I look forward to it all but know that my legacy that I leave with Chi Phi means more to me than anyone can understand. I know I have only been here for over a year but it feels like a lifetime of memories.

Thus, Matt Morrison's rendition of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" spoke to me in a very emotional way. I researched the words and will provide them below. As individuals, we all "wish upon a star and want to wake up where the clouds are far behind me." We hope for the best in all we do and hope that the past remains in the past; however, I have never had an experience as working for Chi Phi that has developed me more as a human and a professional.

I want all educators to know that you are making a difference, whether it is in your own life or the lives of students and other professionals. Take each day as an opportunity and dare to dream so you do not ask yourself "Why, Oh Why can't I?" because you can.

Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high
And the dreams that you dream of once in a lullaby

Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly
And the dreams that you dream of
Dreams really do come true

Someday I wish upon a star
Wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where trouble melts like lemondrops
High above the chimney top
That's where you'll find me

Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly
And the dreams that you dare to
Oh why oh why can't I

Well I see trees of green and red roses too
I'll watch them bloom for me and you
And I think to myself
What a wonderful world

Well I see skies of blue and
I see clouds of white
And the brightness of day
I like the dark
And I think to myself what a wonderful world

The colors of the rainbow
So pretty in the sky
and also on the faces of people passing by
I see friends shaking hands saying
How do you do
They're really saying I, I love you

I hear babies cry and I watch them grow
They'll learn much more then we'll know
And I think to myself what a wonderful world
world...

Someday I wish upon a star
Wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where trouble melts like lemondrops
High above the chimney top
That's where you'll find me

Oh somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high
And the dreams that you dare to
Why oh why can't I...

New Opportunities

It has been over a week since my last blog; however, I have had a few experiences that give me material to discuss through my blog. Therefore, I will catch you up on what is happening in my life. During the last week, I have seen potential career opportunities, frustration with people in my life, and had the opportunity to work with alumni and educate them about my generation. Each of these experiences has allowed me to evaluate my life a little differently than I have recently done through my religious pursuit.

As the week began, I evaluated what I plan to do with my life. I know that I am meant to work with college students and helping them enhance their college experience. However, I have never thought to look at it further than just that. Currently, I work in fraternity and sorority life and will be working as a graduate assistant in service learning at Florida State in the fall. Ultimately, I know I want to be a Dean of Students or Vice President of Student Affairs. The way I get there is through different opportunities and God's plan for my life.

As the week progressed, my understanding of what my future holds was hinder by frustrations with people who think they need to be involved in every decision I make as well as tear me down to make them feel empowered. I have learned that you will not "rain on my parade." I take each day in stride and know that they are only trying to do what is in the best interest of myself but sometimes those individuals need to step back and let life happen. It ALWAYS turns out like it should.

As the week came to a close, I spent time with alumni from across the Southeast educating them in various capacities on how to work with Chapters and Colonies as well as be an effective mentor and advisor. Although I experienced frustrations during the week, I love having the ability to educate others and help make a difference in the lives of college students. My favorite component of the weekend was the discussion I lead on the "Millennial Generation of College Students." As a member of this generation, it made me look deep at myself and help guide alumni into understanding us more. I do know that we have a tendency to be self-centered, highly competitive, and are more confident but we are striving to be a more accepting society.

Because of these concerns, I hope to provide the necessary tools to ensure that students to not lose sight of the important parts of communication and social interaction. It is even more important that generations before us understand so that they may help build the gap between the Baby Boomers, GenXers, and the Millennial generations. Social Excellence is crucial for this to continue. It is something that will change not only your life but the lives of others. It will make you more of a value to society and show how our generation has not lost the enthusiasm to care for others. Therefore, I believe in Phired Up Productions challenge:

"Challenge yourself everyday, in every social situation to engage. Be open. Be willing. Be curious. Be vulnerable. Be confident. Be responsible. Be fun. Make the decision. Dare yourself to be socially excellent and share the dare with others."

Make this a goal for yourself and you will see a difference not only in your life but in the lives that you interact. Thanks for listening to my learning outcomes this week and hopefully will have a new one for you tomorrow... until then, Love and Respect.

A Year in Review... (Part 1)

So, I told you it would take me a bit before I told my stories from the past year as a consultant and now I have decided to create a series of blogs to discuss my year. I feel that this will be a better way to depict to you how my year has flown by from scary first moments until preparing for my last days as a fraternity consultant.

I began back in May 2009 with a few weeks prior to my first national convention as a consultant. As I prepared for this first exposure, I worked hard to understand Chi Phi Fraternity as well as its membership. In addition, I worked to grasp the functionality and purpose of the convention and all of its entities. It would be the first time I traveled to another state that was further away than Indianapolis, Indiana for various fraternity activities.

In June 2009, I packed up my suitcase met with the staff at the Atlanta airport and headed to Chi Phi 144th Congress in Denver, CO. When I landed, I saw amazing things surrounding the "Mile High City." Little did I know that I would face my first taste of being a professional at this annual event.

I never felt overworked in various ways and would go to bed each night exhausted. However, it was hard to fall asleep at night with alumni challenging me because I am not a Chi Phi but an Alpha Tau Omega brother. The undergraduates were reluctant but they saw an opportunity to have someone new advise them, especially since I visited more than half of the fraternity this past year. It was hard to see that people did not accept me but I did let me hinder my efforts as a consultant for making Chi Phi something more than what it was recognized as among campuses.

Hence, we begin my year as a consultant...

Carry On...

As many of you know, my life has been filled with music from the time I was born until present day. Whether I was singing in a church choir or playing my saxophone in an ensemble. Through music notes and words, I can express myself for any situation that I am faced with on a daily basis. Today as I drove into work, I was listening to 104.7 The Fish in Atlanta and heard one of my favorite songs by Chris Rice. The song, Untitled Hymn (Come to Jesus), truly inspires to seek God in what you do. At times, we are like a child who is learning to crawl in our walk with God but understand we are not perfect. Sometimes, we do fall down but we need to learn to let the ways of the world not get to us and follow God's purpose. Seek His Truth. Just because one falls we are not to stop and turn back. I had a fraternity brother ask me yesterday why does God's armor not cover our back and I thought to myself, "...because God has our back" but he stated, "it is because we are not to look back." I could not agree with him more. The past is the past and we must move forward. It took me so long to realize that God wants me to move forward and the fight worth fighting is ahead of me not behind me.

So, when you feel like all is lost and you are in your darkest point in life, cry out to Jesus. He will listen. He is waiting for you to speak. Of all your friends, He never left you. As Jeremy Camp sings, I will walk by faith even when I cannot see it. Faith and believing for a Christian it is what helps us make it through life. Believe it what the Lord is doing in your life and pray that you can continue to humble yourself before Him (I know I do that alot more now) daily. God is Love.

Untitled Hymn (Come to Jesus) by Chris Rice

Weak and wounded sinner
Lost and left to die
O, raise your head, for love is passing by
Come to Jesus
Come to Jesus
Come to Jesus and live!

Now your burden's lifted
And carried far away
And precious blood has washed away the stain, so
Sing to Jesus
Sing to Jesus
Sing to Jesus and live!

And like a newborn baby
Don't be afraid to crawl
And remember when you walk
Sometimes we fall...so
Fall on Jesus
Fall on Jesus
Fall on Jesus and live!

Sometimes the way is lonely
And steep and filled with pain
So if your sky is dark and pours the rain, then
Cry to Jesus
Cry to Jesus
Cry to Jesus and live!

O, and when the love spills over
And music fills the night
And when you can't contain your joy inside, then
Dance for Jesus
Dance for Jesus
Dance for Jesus and live!

And with your final heartbeat
Kiss the world goodbye
Then go in peace, and laugh on Glory's side, and
Fly to Jesus
Fly to Jesus

Fly to Jesus and live!

I Still Believe...

As Jeremy Camp sings in "I Still Believe," I hear the words reach out to me and speak to me as though God is talking to me face to face. Since Saturday, I can tell a difference in my life. God is bringing me back to the place I have so long to be. I am giving up everything to focus on him. I know right now that it seems like a dream and I do not want to wake up. However, I know I will struggle but it is by God's grace that I will remember his love and mercy to step in the direction of His plan for me.

Aside from my religious walk, I want to reflect on the loss of an amazing woman that I met during my time at Mercer. Although I knew Whitney Davidson for a short while, every time I interacted with her, whether in class, on the Phi Mu porch, or at various Mercer activities, she was always smiling or saying something funny to have me laughing and smiling. She was a true beauty and had such a close connection with her sorority, Phi Mu. Phi Mu holds a special place in my heart and I love each of those women for different reasons but will always cherish my times with each of them.

I know Whitney's legacy continues to live in each of us that she touched. She also has left an impact on those students that she worked with for Teach for America. She loved what she did and we love her for what she did to make a difference in the lives of others.

My thoughts and prayers go out to the Davidson family, Phi Mu, and all others who were closely connected to her.

Changing my Heart...

Often times in life we find ourselves seeking guidance and searching for fulfillment. I remember growing up and thirsting for knowledge in God's word and now I realized that I had strayed away in various forms of my life. Yesterday, I attended a wedding and saw two of my close friends get married. They seemed to truly be filled with God's love and I yearn for that. I never understood it until yesterday watching them and then having a great faith based discussion with my best friend, Elisabeth. Our discussion focused on where I had strayed as a Christian and where I need to re-center my life... GOD. In this world, our faith is one that can be shaken so many times and we fear to return to it only due to societal norms in certain surroundings.

Well, I have decided to return to find what made me happy so long ago. God's abundant love and His will for my life. This morning I have sat in my room reading and listening to music and scriptures about God's word and the words from Jeremy Camp's "There Will Be A Day" sticks with me:

"I try to hold on this world with everything I have but I feel the weight of what it brings and the hurt that tries to grab the many trials seem to never end. His word declares this truth that we will enter this rest with wonders anew but I hold on to this hope and the promise that He brings that there is will be a place with no more suffering..."

So thus, I stand at a crossroad praying and seeking God's guidance through His word. I ask that whoever reads this will pray for me as I work through this time. I am excited and renewed to know that God is still out there hoping for me to come back to Him.

Let this be the beginning...

And the Winner Is...

Like I stated on my Facebook status, I will have to back track a lot in the next coming months so I can talk about my stories as a consultant and the lessons I have learned. Honestly, I can say (with my one year with Chi Phi coming up) that I have grown so much as a professional and person in various facets. However, I know that I have faced some major trials and tribulations this past year and look to the future to see what God has in store for me. Anyways, today's topic is...

And the Winner is...

I remember in December 2009 working with the SEIFC (Southeastern Interfraternity Conference) Awards Committee and my advisor, Buck Cooke, as we were preparing to evaluate and analyze the councils most deserving from across the Southeast. Now, I am repeating the experience with Chi Phi; however, I have had a great hand in making this as stress free as possible. Although it is to be stress free for the evaluator, it tends to make me think too hard and stress. Yes, I know many of you reading this will say "Dominy, nothing has changed with you." My response, however, is that want to leave something better on this organization than when I began. I guess with me leaving staff in 2 months it is the least I can do.

When the awards applications arrived, I felt like it was a Christmas excitement because we will recognize some of the best and brightest chapters, alumni, and individuals from across the country. I am excited for the process to begin but the finding the volunteers and figuring out the logarithms and equations to make sure that the process and points all add up. I know the excitement is building for all people and I am excited to make sure the best and brightest are recognized. Boston, you better get ready for a great 145th Congress for Chi Phi Fraternity.