Ohh Snap!

Well, today's blog came to us mind a lot later than the others ones did.... Part of the problem came from the fact that I have been dealing with a car that needs some repair, an apartment that needed some attention, and my hair that looked like Tarzan with curls.  I know crazy mental images of me running a muck today.  With that being said, I was having a conversation via text with a friend and all of a sudden - I just snapped.  

After the situation occurred, I asked myself why the heck did this just happen.  He was being honest about a situation and I just blew up.  Was it because I had a challenging day or the fact that my brother and his girlfriend could not come to an agreement on certain elements today? Anyway, I just went off. I paused afterwards and took a deep breathe.  I thought to myself that [friend] did not deserve that.  He was just being honest.  I thought to myself if I cannot accept honest feedback from a friend who can I trust.  

So, this situation has me pondering why do we get upset when people are honest or spend time developing thoughts or comments to respond to the situation.  Instead, why can't we listen and allow for the information to settle?  Maybe walk away for a few minutes? Listen to some music?  For me, I realize that sometimes that my passion or frustrations for a situation boil to a point then POP goes the weasel.  

I realized afterwards that I needed to apologize for my actions.  The response, it's all good.  However, is it all good?  Why do we respond with it is all good when someone gets upset or pops.  Instead, shouldn't the person who snapped process why they did what they did and move forward.  We live in a culture where we should not hurt people's feelings and that we should be sensitive to the emotions of others.  I may or may not agree with that societal norm; however, I want to know how we even get to the point of anger.  How can we spend more time learning to relax and live life than worry about why someone said something?  

Tonight, I decided to listen to the National Anthem sung by Jennifer Hudson to help me process.  

The National Anthem speaks of we, as Americans, " O'er the ramparts we watch'd, were so gallantly streaming? Rampart by definition is a defensive wall.   Americans fought for the civil liberties that we strive to uphold today but the usage of a defensive wall was necessary to combat Britain.  In our lives, we develop defensive mechanisms and sometimes that is a wall. Other times we "snap."  I am not talking Legally Blonde bend and snap but we emotional and physical snap and release a defense that injures or harms others.  Therefore, why do it?  I am not at war with my friend nor do I need to be.  Therefore, I reflect on why we should live life in peace and harmony and not war and terror.  

Our lives go through cycles, sometimes good and others bad.  Regardless of where I am in the cycle, my "bad" should always result in good for others.  Therefore, the next time I, or even you the reader, need to let out some hot air - think and breath. Life is too short to be frustrated because someone made a comment.  If we spend more time focusing on who we are and want to be, we would be much happier.  Instead, we focus so much of what others think and don't allow for people to come into our lives for genuine reasons or conversations.  

I challenge you, as well as myself, to live a little nicer and be thankful for what you have in front of you.  Life is not always greener on the other side.  Cherish each moment as a gift because we are not certain that tomorrow will come. 

May your day be filled with peace, love, and joy. 

Respectfully,

Stephen 

Where It All Starts...In 2014.

Good morning, friends! I realize that most of the people reading this blog are probably either my friends or just avid blog readers so I will use the term friend to open for today.  

Welcome to 2014! It is the start to a new year.  This new year brings excitement, growth, struggle, happiness, sadness, and thrill.  Why is this year any different than the year prior? It is because the new year of 2014 is innocent in nature and nothing has tarnished the memories of the year yet.  We idolize that each new year is a fresh start just as we did when we graduated from high school, undergraduate, or even graduate school.  We see the new year as an opportunity to re-invent ourselves or create resolutions that seem timely but most fail in the long term.  

2014 means something different for me - it is an opportunity to shape who I am not redefine who I already am.  I see this year as an opportunity to listen less to those who poison my happiness and strive more to live a life focuses on seizing the day rather than waiting for someone to tell me to leap.  Although this does sound somewhat idealistic, I believe I need to step focused on my well being, happiness, and plans for the future.  Of course, I have my "council of mentors" who will be sounding boards for my plans to help me evaluate my life but more so to make sure I am not going "too far off the deep end." 

2014 begins new journeys for me in my professional career and navigating each experience with intentionality and purpose will be crucial.  Will I be perfect? Heck no but will I learn from the hurdles that present themselves to me - absolutely! My love and passion for student affairs makes me only more excited for the next steps I take throughout 2014.  

2014 encourages me to seek more time to be with Him.  Last night was a prime example.  I was the designated driver, by choice, for the New Year's Eve festivities. Chris Tomlin's Indescribable came on the radio (video provided below). 

During the last 10 minutes of my drive, I was like I know this song.  As the song began, I started singing and tears rolled down my face but I realized that God was talking to me.  The moment that the praise and worship because a true conversation with Him.  It made me think - what have I done to uphold His glory? Of course, I am aware that I will fall short but how am I working to follow His plan for my life.  In that moment, I am sitting at a red light praying that God will have His had in my life because I am nothing without Him.  Faith has always been a proponent of what my life should embody.  May God was trying to tell me something last night but all I can think is that I was present and learning to be.  I continue to seek more for and with Him. 

After reading this, many of you may say you have a hefty plan for 2014.  Actually, I think I have allowed this to be a framework for the year.  I had a supervisor once that told me that you have a tapestry to work but how you work with that canvas is a work of art.  I could not agree more.  Therefore, I strive to live more passionately focus on who I am; navigate my career with excitement and intentional conversations and direction; continue to shape who I am and not keep "reinventing the wheel;" and follow my heart through faith and prayer.  

2014 will be a great year - how will you be a part of my journey? Only time will tell. 

May your day be filled with peace, love, and joy. 

Love and Respect, 
Stephen