Ohh Snap!

Well, today's blog came to us mind a lot later than the others ones did.... Part of the problem came from the fact that I have been dealing with a car that needs some repair, an apartment that needed some attention, and my hair that looked like Tarzan with curls.  I know crazy mental images of me running a muck today.  With that being said, I was having a conversation via text with a friend and all of a sudden - I just snapped.  

After the situation occurred, I asked myself why the heck did this just happen.  He was being honest about a situation and I just blew up.  Was it because I had a challenging day or the fact that my brother and his girlfriend could not come to an agreement on certain elements today? Anyway, I just went off. I paused afterwards and took a deep breathe.  I thought to myself that [friend] did not deserve that.  He was just being honest.  I thought to myself if I cannot accept honest feedback from a friend who can I trust.  

So, this situation has me pondering why do we get upset when people are honest or spend time developing thoughts or comments to respond to the situation.  Instead, why can't we listen and allow for the information to settle?  Maybe walk away for a few minutes? Listen to some music?  For me, I realize that sometimes that my passion or frustrations for a situation boil to a point then POP goes the weasel.  

I realized afterwards that I needed to apologize for my actions.  The response, it's all good.  However, is it all good?  Why do we respond with it is all good when someone gets upset or pops.  Instead, shouldn't the person who snapped process why they did what they did and move forward.  We live in a culture where we should not hurt people's feelings and that we should be sensitive to the emotions of others.  I may or may not agree with that societal norm; however, I want to know how we even get to the point of anger.  How can we spend more time learning to relax and live life than worry about why someone said something?  

Tonight, I decided to listen to the National Anthem sung by Jennifer Hudson to help me process.  

The National Anthem speaks of we, as Americans, " O'er the ramparts we watch'd, were so gallantly streaming? Rampart by definition is a defensive wall.   Americans fought for the civil liberties that we strive to uphold today but the usage of a defensive wall was necessary to combat Britain.  In our lives, we develop defensive mechanisms and sometimes that is a wall. Other times we "snap."  I am not talking Legally Blonde bend and snap but we emotional and physical snap and release a defense that injures or harms others.  Therefore, why do it?  I am not at war with my friend nor do I need to be.  Therefore, I reflect on why we should live life in peace and harmony and not war and terror.  

Our lives go through cycles, sometimes good and others bad.  Regardless of where I am in the cycle, my "bad" should always result in good for others.  Therefore, the next time I, or even you the reader, need to let out some hot air - think and breath. Life is too short to be frustrated because someone made a comment.  If we spend more time focusing on who we are and want to be, we would be much happier.  Instead, we focus so much of what others think and don't allow for people to come into our lives for genuine reasons or conversations.  

I challenge you, as well as myself, to live a little nicer and be thankful for what you have in front of you.  Life is not always greener on the other side.  Cherish each moment as a gift because we are not certain that tomorrow will come. 

May your day be filled with peace, love, and joy. 

Respectfully,

Stephen